Would I be able to live in the USA Today? A very serious question indeed. I have never thought of this idea while growing up in Suriname. Holland was always the country of consideration when discussing my future with friends and family. Of course, half of the people I know, live in The Netherlands. Only a few live in the USA. Cultural influences of Holland were embedded in Suriname, because of historic ties starting in 1667. Naturally, Suriname’s education system was based on the promotion and knowledge of the history and culture of Holland. The objective was to prepare Surinamese students for higher education in the motherland, the Netherlands. In addition, encounters with family and friends practically who traveled yearly to Suriname on vacation, very much strengthened the need to migrate. I didn’t leave Suriname, but successfully finished my studies, found a good job, and raised my family of two young male adults. But now, at age 57, I have experienced both countries from afar and very closely. I have traveled to both countries, stayed there for several weeks and experienced the daily life and culture of its people. As for my husband (59) and two sons (22 and 21), I can imagine them having their own ideas about this question, from their own perspective and experience. Then suddenly I realized that it is imperative to also take their perspective into consideration, before I draw my conclusion. In the end, we all strive to live happily together and breathe!
Family Perspective
When my eldest son Ike graduated from high school in 2018, he openly dreamed about studying in the USA because of two reasons. His brother (from another mother), born and raised in de USA had agreed to support him and strongly encouraged him to consider living with him in Miami/Florida. They both share a passion, basketball. While Ike surpassed him by physical features, they both shared the same basketball dream. Daily training, competitive attitude, fearfulness and determination would surely get them there, they believed. Reality struck when his brother started a family shortly after graduation. Work and family surpassed his passion for Basketball. Then Ike learned more about the harsh selection criteria to gain a basketball scholarship in the USA as a non-national. A definitely -No Go-. My husband uttered his relieve. Although he supported the idea of his son studying in the USA, he was somewhat relieved that Ike continued his studies under his direct care in Suriname. His own experiences abroad caused him to lose interest in living outside of Suriname, after a 6-year study period abroad.
As for my youngest son Earl, he never showed interest in studying abroad and won’t even discuss this. Within 3 years Ike gained his bachelor degree and is currently studying for his masters in accountancy. Earl is also a student at Suriname’s only university. A breath of relief!
Learning about American Culture in Canada
The culture and life of American people unfolded for me during an amazing 3 months cultural exchange program in Canada, funded by Canadian Crossroads International in 1988. This first experience at 24 years old was filled with good memories, starting with a two weeks stay in a cheap hotel in Miami, where I was able to cook my own meals. I literally only ate my favorite Suriname dish, brown beans chicken sausages and rice, while awaiting my Canadian visa approval. Finally arrived in Canada, I received my three months’ work permit within two weeks. The program was aimed at learning the culture by becoming part of households with various backgrounds. I got my first culture shock in my first family with two teenage daughters living on an apple farm in the interior of Toronto. There was no water system in the house! How is it possible in this so called First Industrialized country? The great part of the story was that I handpicked the sweetest ‘Red and Delicious’ apples. I never again bought another kind in my life. My second family in Ottawa, two young adult girls, was amazing. I lived in the basement of their beautiful house. One of the girls was a health and fitness fanatic who counted all calories and of course never ate my cooking, because of the ‘fattening ingredients’ of my culture. The other girl took me to dinner with her grandmother in a nice restaurant. What a fest we had with different dishes and great desserts. Grandma spoiled us enormously.
One night I got the biggest scare in my life. A boyfriend knocked on my window, to ask me to open the front door, because he forgot his keys. I literally screamed when I saw his white face staring at me through my basement window. After apologies, we could thankfully laugh about this afterwards. I can never forget the long talks and tours with Marlene, my best friend in Ottawa. Visits to the parliament building, the beautiful heritage buildings in the city of Montreal, and long strolls in various shopping malls. My second culture shock came while standing in line for a food tasting event. After Marlene got her taste, I was excluded after some of the white people disapproved. ‘Will you prepare the dish in the near future’ asked the man. When he told me that the dish was fried snails, my face immediately reflected my answer. I quietly stepped out of the line. Marlene and I laughed our hearts out afterwards, because she didn’t like the taste of those snails either.
Ottawa, the 2nd coldest city of the world, gave me my first winter and snow experience. The one hour travel to Toronto led me to amazement, because while it was snowing in Ottawa, the climate in Toronto was mild, with no snow. Canadians are very curious. They would ask you so many questions about your private life, something that is not common in Suriname’s culture. ‘Where do you live? Are you married? Do your parents work? What kind of work you do your parents do, your family does? What do you plan to do in Canada? It didn’t stop. That is my third ‘culture shock’. My third family, a single lady, working as an office manager, was never home during the day. I therefore went strolling the metro system, leading me to the best Roti outside the Caribbean, which I bought at a West Indian food restaurant in Down Town Toronto. The delicious Roti plates were huge and it took me two days to finish this dish. One day I considered the possibility of finding one Surinamese living in Toronto. After studying the phonebook, I found an aunt by the name Plet who amazingly knew my mother. A one week stay at her house, got me eating the best home cooked meals and my first taste of homemade Lasagna. She also took me to the world-famous impressive Niagara Falls. My fourth and final family in Toronto was unforgettable. A young Sierra Leone husband and his white Canadian wife gave me a warm treatment and beautiful celebration of my 25th birthday. My fifth and final culture shock came when I was introduced to the Sierra Leone community in Toronto. This almost made me decide to stay in Canada with their support. What impressed me the most, was the recognition of my own culture, especially the language. ‘Disi na Elviera’, ‘Mi na Elviera’, ‘Tangi baa’ were some of the phrases also used in Sierra Leone and Suriname. I never forgot this! After studying the world map, I noticed that you could practically draw a straight line from Sierra Leone to South America, Suriname. How impressive is that! I could breathe the energy of a future in America!
Touching American culture in the USA
The ten days’ vacation in San Francisco in 1999, taught me the real insides of living in the USA. My close friends, Mike and Minerva treated me the delicious and familiar home cooked meals, but also the Tjauw Min, fried rice and mixed vegetable a la Suriname, served in a Chinese restaurant Down Town. Also an impressive tour to the beach and the famous former prison Alcatraz, which was developed into a museum. I could actually relive the classic movie ‘Papillion’. On the other hand, I also learned about their survival strategy in this world city. ‘We never go out at night, everybody stays inside after six o’clock, because it is not safe’. The family of two children aged 2 and 14 kept strict safety and survival rules and has successfully raised strong young Americans who nowadays earn a good living in the USA. Makes me wonder if the children are still keeping the same survival strategies for their family, as their parents in 1999. Can they really breathe?
During a two-week study orientation at the USA Postal Services in Miami (2004) I got an inside view of the modern fast delivery services and postal procedures. Barcodes and the digital tracking systems were unknown to the Suriname postal services. Inhaling the postal future in America? I enjoy watching USA documentaries, movies and television series ranging from the life of Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, The Color Purple, Hidden Figures, 24 and all movies produced by Oprah Winfrey and Tyler Perry. They all portray the everyday life of specifically minorities in the USA and are full of violence, exclusion, discrimination, racism and injustice. On the other hand, I also enjoy the other side, the expression of American pride, nationalism, patriotism, gratitude and survival.
Life in Suriname
My sons are now university students in Suriname. They drive their cars to and from campus during the day and night. Two young black young men, who look like grown men because of their big beards. Intensive sport activities and social interactions with their pears, cause them to be more outside. My youngest holds a black belt in Judo, various gold and silver medals at national and international level. He is also a certified judge and was awarded the best young Judoka of Suriname in 2018. Basketball is the main sport for my oldest son, and he earned a vast position in his team. For the past two years, the Covid19 pandemic caused both my sons to be more active in house, which was of course annoying for me, and frustrating for them. No social contact with peers, isolated training and demotivation. Violence, discrimination, exclusion and racism tendencies are not new to Suriname. Daily reports in the Newspapers and television, and especially Facebook and WhatsApp posts reflect the daily traffic accidents, police arrests, drug related criminal offenses, school violence and community disturbances affecting the Suriname community.
Am I worried, yes! Statistics show more young black men involved in these disturbances and the prisons also reflect the black male dominance. Exclusion from the costly high education institutions and scholarships opportunities for young black men. Access to high paid jobs after graduation, housing for young couples leave especially young blacks staying with their parents long after graduation and sometimes, for their whole adult life. But there is a bright light of possibilities for my boys. My husband and I descend from two communal former plantations, which provides access to land for domestic and commercial usage. Therefore, my children can have their own land, build their houses and businesses in the future. Not only can they raise their own families, but also offer a stronger bases for prosperity of their children and grandchildren. Now, that is something that is definitely not possible in the USA, owning your own property. For black young men with regular jobs, it would be a No Go!
Would my fears be the same if we were living in the USA? Would there be a difference? Would I be able to breathe?
Both Suriname and the USA face social challenges which mostly affect young adults. Especially young black males are more vulnerable and find themselves victims of street violence. I can and will not go to bed, until I’m assured of my boy’s safe arrival after a night out. But I can’t imagine keeping them inside after 6 o’clock in the evening, because of the streets are unsafe. As for their future, I feel much convinced that Suriname offers a better perspective for them to raise their own families. Their property rights are assured, as well as their children’s. In Suriname, I can breathe, because my children can build a certain future. Yes, I can breathe!
ELVIERA SANDIE
